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When Being Nice Is Not Nice

Updated: Oct 20, 2022

When abuse is being committed to our loved ones, we all have a choice to take it with annoyance/intolerance or restraint/tolerance (“Be nice ... to the abusers!").

Restraint/tolerance/"be nice" is the coping mechanism of our pseudo-Light side, i.e., our inner Jekyll.

Annoyance/intolerance/"don't be nice" is the coping mechanism of our Dark/Shadow side, i.e., our inner Hyde.

The socially acceptable choice is to be “nice” Dr. Jekyll and exercise restraint, against the advice of our "not nice" Mr. Hyde who thinks restraint/tolerance is misguided.

The morally approved choice is to keep our Dark Side, Mr. Hyde, in a dungeon. That means one half of us is not free. Imprisoned. Suppressed. Oppressed. Our Siamese twin is left starved, mistreated and unhappy.

The consequence of too much restraint/tolerance is: it allows abuse to proliferate and perpetuate. Abuse becomes socially acceptable.

And the one who can put a stop to the abuse is in the dungeon.

Now, the Dilemma: “Do you mean I would have to release my Dark Side/Mr. Hyde from the dungeon to be balanced, happy and free? What will happen to me and to everyone else if I do that?”


The balance is not struck by granting Jekyll or Hyde unfettered reign. A battle between the two will ensue, and "to the winner go the spoils." Neither Jekyll nor Hyde is the middle point, the point of equality and surrender. They are the duality, the polarized extremes.

The middle point is One Love. The balance point is where both "nice" Dr. Jekyll and "not nice" Mr. Hyde are allies, collaborating, and cooperating with One Love to cross-pollinate. Thereby, they create LIGHT. I mean the REAL Light-like the sun. Not the socially acceptable, polarized, pseudo-Light-like the incandescent bulb.

One REAL LIGHT, like the sun, can brighten a dark world in a way that 7 billion incandescent bulbs cannot do.

In that middle point of Peace and One Love, where opposites are mates destined to unite, you will find GOD. You will find Divine Will.

For many of us, the challenge is finding that space of One Love where expressing either annoyance/intolerance/"don't be nice," or restraint/tolerance/"be nice," isn't damaging or divisive.

You will find that space of One Love inside you when you unite your pseudo-Light side (the socially acceptable behavior of restraint/tolerance) and your Dark Side (the one that says be annoyed! Do not tolerate abuse!). When both sides unite, collaborate and cross-pollinate, UN-WOUNDED, only then will you be able to express either socially acceptable or unacceptable behavior with Peace and One Love-and create REAL sunlight, not pseudo-light.

That inner space of Peace and One Love between opposites is the inner space of PEACE AND ONE BROTHERHOOD OF MAN.

Peace and One Love can assume the face of Dr. Jekyl or Mr. Hyde, or any face in between.

No matter what face Peace and One Love chooses to wear, the sunlight behind the mask will illuminate everyone. Everyone will see the REAL Light. Who can miss the sun, even if we aren't able to look directly at it? Whether you choose to display socially acceptable or unacceptable behavior, accept that reactions will be varied. There will be favorable and unfavorable reactions towards you, but everyone will feel the Peace and One Love you exude.

Accept also that reactions to your Peace and One Love (the REAL Light) will be varied. Those who favor the Light of Peace and One Love will react favorably to you, and those who prefer divisive, tumultuous, "incandescent" Love (because they're still learning from it) will be antagonistic.

Ces’t la vie.

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